5 Lessons From a cancer Patient’s Daughter.
Thoughts of Hope
July 13th, 2017
When you’ve learned so young that life ends in death–no matter what, you look at life a little differently. You might be thinking “what the shit” because that was kind of dark, but it’s not. The truth is I learned that life is B E A U T I F U L and fragile. When I was barely 15, a freshman in high school (in a school district I had only been in for the prior year), my mom was diagnosed with Stage III Ovarian cancer. THAT was scary.
It took me a few years before I learned why all of this happened to me, but I got there. When I was 15 I had no idea how to handle any of it to be honest, like WTF?!?!?!?!?! was about the only thing going off in my head as my world started changing faster and faster. Here I am.., almost 5 years later. My mom is still battling this terrible thing, but I’m blessed I’ve been able to have her for this long.
My mom having cancer really changed a lot of who I am. I feel as if I did a complete personality and attitude change. Not in a bad way either. In spite of the tumultuous teenage years I believe I came out on top. I learned real value and wisdom from all of this..
There’s so much more to life than the ugly. The ugly is so minuscule.
How can I say that the ugly part of life is minuscule?
Well, I truly believe and have witnessed that everything happens for a reason. While this is a devastating situation, something I’ll remember forever, I believe good can come out of this. My mother had three daughters, my little sisters and I. Now that we are aware we have a possibility of getting the ugly thing we are able to take more precautions in our lives. I also believe that we can advocate for Ovarian cancer, the signs are so mild and unnoticeable that at first that you might think you’re pregnant. If we are able to advocate and help one person catch cancer early I think I would call that a win, would you?
I was lucky enough to learn what matters at a young age.
I look around at a lot of people my age and I see that they’re still stuck on little things or material things. I see the value in people, in time, in experiences. I know that these things, people and places won’t last forever, but the beautiful memories inside our head will. I don’t care if I’m broke or rich in life, happiness is the thing I will seek first and foremost. Most people my age don’t want to hangout with their family on the regular, especially when they don’t live at home. I just happen to enjoy being able to go visit my family, soaking up all of the moments I can. Who knows how long it will be until we all have our own lives in different cities, with busy jobs and families.
I have learned to love and express my emotions freely.
When I was 15 I tried to act so tough… like none of my surroundings could hurt me. I honestly don’t think I felt anything until I met my boyfriend a few months before I turned 18. I was angry, sad, lonely. I had plenty of friends but I feel like not only myself, but my friends, were “sweep your emotions under the rug”, types of people. None of us talk anymore but that’s probably a good thing.
My boyfriend just touched parts of my soul and they e x p l o d e d. I remember there was one night, a few weeks after we met but before we were dating, we were all cuddled up together and I was just sad. Sometimes I would (And can still be) just sad, for no reason. He literally took me and held me so close to him and just gave me a million kisses, and we just laid together for a few hours until we fell asleep. He stayed. Since then he has seen all of my emotions. I have A LOT of emotions. He has continued to stay and love me more and more for my weird, goofy self. It helped me be comfortable being ME .
I learned letting others know how you feel about them is important. Since touching my emotions my relationship with my family has become much stronger and better. I also feel more in-tune with myself and comfortable letting other’s know what’s on my mind. Which makes me feel g r e a t.
You can’t have the good without the bad.
Take everything for what it is and nothing more.
Do not overthink the little things, the “What ifs”, the “could have beens”. DO NOT. Where you are right here and right now is a blessing–chances are you’re right where you’re supposed to be. And if you’re not, you will get their in steps.
If your partner tells you they love you, believe it until they give you reason to doubt that. I used to spend so much of my time thinking and worrying about NOTHING so I created my own worries and fears! All of that leads to negativity and that is not something I want in my life.
No matter how many hardballs I get thrown I take it for what it is and learn/grow from every situation. No bad thoughts/feelings/situations are permanent, they’re states of mind. You will heal.
When your family is sick… just take everyday for what. it. is. Spend time with them and acknowledge that there is nothing in your control that can take away their illness. It’s okay, just love them while you can 🙂 That’s what matters the most, to be frank.
In every moment be present and aware. Breathe the air, listen to the surroundings, look at the beautiful people and admire the magic of the trees. Everyday has a purpose, don’t waste that. If your friends invite you to dinner, GO. If there’s a family function, GO GO GO! They might seem like they’ll suck but you know you’ll have a good time if you just show up! Make as many great memories as you can, life’s a storybook. You are the author of your storybook! What do you want your book to be filled with???
Make the most out of the life you were handed. You only get one, make sure it’s a great one.